Not Like the Movies

Sometimes, your characters do things you don't want them to...


London is made for the lonely. The rain and the fog should be a dead giveaway to the emotional tone of the city. If you think New York is the place to feel lonely in a crowd you’ve never been to London. In London you can feel every single ghost walk with you down the road. Native pagans who died moving rocks to build mysterious monuments, Roman soldiers who died hundreds of miles from home, plague victims, Kings consorts, hookers at the hands of a ripper, children running from air raids, terrorist bombings… all of them walk the streets of London with the lonely. The ghosts that weigh the heaviest on us forcing us to drag our feet through the market at Notting Hill are the ghosts of our own pasts. The ones that scream ‘WHY DID YOU RUN WHEN IT GOT HARD’ with every foot fall you make. They scream at you with each step when all you want to do is think of how Hugh Grant spilled his coffee on Julia Roberts just over there….

“Hi Grandpa…” I said bringing my phone from my pocket to my ear. “…yes I’ll go to dinner with you and Albert… Yes, I know he’s grandma’s friend… yes, I’ll be your buffer… ok… ok… yes I’ll be home in plenty of time to get ready… See you soon.” Ugh. Plans.

“Mallory you must come see me in Paris. I haven’t seen you in my studio since you were a child and I was still with Dior.” Albert said over our dinner table as I picked at my food. “You’re looking so well. Last I talked to your grandmother she called you pleasantly plump. All I see is a sensual young woman in her prime. You must come, I wish to make sometime for you I am already inspired. It shall be complete in two weeks. Do you remember the dresses I used to make for you?”

I smiled as best I could. A genuine smile was impossible since I left everything that could ever make me happy in Pittsburgh on the dusty bedroom floor of a certain man whom I can’t bear to name even in my own mind. “Yes I remember Albert. I’ve saved them in case I have a daughter of my own. They are timeless just like you. I don’t think I’m up for Paris though.”

“I think you should go Mallory.” My Grandpa said meeting my eyes with his own. “You need to get out of London and I know you love Paris.”

“Ah then it is set. I will measure you here and go back to my studio and create.” Albert said clapping his hands. “I continue to be inspired by you Mallory.”

All I could so was smile and sigh. I always wanted to take Max to Paris. Paris was my city and I wanted to share it with him on my terms. Going there without him just felt weird. I was left with little choice though as Grandpa gave me the evil eye saying ‘do this because I say so’. I knew it would earn me bonus points with Grandma as well which I was never in a place to pass up.

“Ok, ok. Two week from now I’ll be in your studio for a fitting Albert.” I fought back a sigh. As much as I didn’t want to go I couldn’t help but think of how beautiful whatever he made me would be.

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There I stood on a familiar stoop in a familiar city dreading knocking on the door. I raised my hand only to have the door pop open.

“Ah... Albert said you would be along.” A young man said standing in the door. I don’t know if it was just me but in my opinion when a man enters the city limits of Paris he becomes instantly more attractive and this guy was case and point. “Oh please excuse me. I’m Danny. I’m I guess you could say working for Albert. Please come in.”

“He said something about men’s wear last week. I’m guessing you’re his muse?” the boy was built for a suit. He was long and lean just muscular enough through the chest and arms to not appear androgynous.

“Yes, he says I will be the face of the line.” Danny replied.

“Albert is good on his word. You’ll have your mug splashed around plenty.” I said as Daddy led me upstairs where I could hear the random music of Albert’s choice pumping through a stereo.

“Oh Mallory, stunning as always. I trust you went to Chantel Thomass?” he said raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, Albert I have all new under things just for you.” I kissed his cheek trying not to blush as this Danny character kept his eye on me as he ‘worked’ on something across the studio.

“Well then child off with your clothes!” Albert said clapping his hands and shooing me behind a screen where a robe awaited. “Do not bother with the robe Mallory everyone in the room is dying to see you next to naked.” Only Albert could make that sound like a compliment and self-esteem booster via his tone rather than a cause for embarrassment.

I stepped out tentatively my heels on my feet and new underthings feeling a bit stiff. I quietly crept across the room not exactly hiding behind anything but definitely not the confidant strides of the usual females who walked this floor. I could see Danny putting down what he was working on to join Albert as I was helped into the special made dress.

“Ah, stunning as I knew it would be. It needs to come in slightly. My Darling Mallory are you eating? I measured you just a week ago.” Albert scolded as pins were put in place and hems were checked on the beautiful black and red dress.
“If you remember Albert you measured me after dinner. Quite unfair if I do say so.” It was a lie I wasn’t eating and doing a lot of walking. I had lost a lot of weight in training with Sarah for the marathon in the spring which I quickly put back on over the summer due to general laziness and the wonderful cooking of Mama Talbot. My heart sank thinking about that glorious family I was no longer a part of. Just as quickly as it was put on the dress was removed from my body and taken for the slight alterations.

“Danny help the girl into her robe!” Albert called as he fussed over the hook closure of a garment he was working on.

Danny brought the robe over easing it onto my shoulder allowing me to tie it. “Come to dinner with me.” He whispered in my ear as the smooth silk glided over my skin. “Please, do not make me beg.” He said his French influenced but natively British accent making me a bit weak in the knees.

“I can’t.” I said closing my eyes. Even if the beauty of him was taken away in an effort to resist temptation I was left with the intensification of the smell of him. It was exotic and different with the total lack of locker room. I could only hope he didn’t see me swallow hard trying to hold my ground. I wasn’t ready for this.

“I said don’t make me beg.” He whispered as his hand moved down my arm lightly grasping my wrist giving a light pull forcing me to take a stutter step closer to him.

My heart skipped for a moment or was it my brain or was it a whole different organ system located in my lower abdomen that was doing the thinking? “Fine. Dinner.” I said opening my eyes meeting his green eyes.

“I’ll meet you at your hotel lobby at 8 wear the dress but keep your own style.” He said letting go of me going back to whatever his own work was just as Albert‘s eyes fell on me beckoning me to come to him and see what he was working on.

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How does one ready themselves for their first date post broken heart? Who am I kidding there is no ‘post’ broken heart. I continue to deal with a gaping wound in my chest where Max Talbot has a plaid and neon colored grip on my heart. All of this required me to take a deep breath so I could push back tears and continue on. I had my hair back in the simple chignon, my makeup simple with flared eyeliner and a nude lip. It was about the dress and my fantastic coat. Red shoes, black clutch a deep breath and I was ready to go.

The lobby was full of people as it usually was at this time. The Lobby of a hotel in Paris was much more a gathering place rather than the US view of it being a transitional space. I scanned the room and spotted Danny in one of the chairs pretending to read the paper as he looked around the room for me. Finally he spotted me. His eyes lit up but not in the way I had grown used to over the past few months. Danny’s look held lust and desire but unlike the past few months there was no child like joy or wonder in his eyes when he looked at me.

“Mallory, you look brilliant.” He said approaching me. “I cannot wait for you to take that coat off and wow the whole restaurant with your dress.” He whispered kissing my cheek coming in close as he escorted me from the lobby his hand on my lower back guiding me out to a taxi.

Le relais de l'isle was a classic French restaurant out on the island on the perfect Paris street that screams romantic and wonderful. It would be the perfect place to take Max. I pushed the thought aside as we were seated. Danny helped me remove my coat and I could feel all eyes on me. Usually I feel self-conscious when this happens but tonight in my stunning dress I feel proud. It was only a fleeting moment of pride as took the seat which Danny pulled out for me. It was so strange to have someone else do these things for me other than Max. He made me feel beautiful in sweat pants on the sofa.

The dinner was nice as was Danny’s company. He was decidedly less creepy face to face in the candle light. He liked Paris and felt stupid for having a job that was built on him being attractive. He was secretly masochistic and wondered of people would still see him the same way if he had a scar on his face. I don’t know if it was all a big line but it was attractive and lovely and made me feel better knowing that other people questioned why they were how they were. He questioned why he was handsome in a family of average people just as I questioned why I was heavy in a family of thin people. It was one of those things it seemed like no one could understand. Then again the wine could have been helping.

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I was stiff from the wine. I thought as I swung my legs to the side of the bed in my hotel room. My hair was down again big messy curls all around my bare shoulders. I got up putting my robe on before heading to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” I head from the bed. I turn seeing Danny propped up on his elbows watching me.

“I’ll be right back.” I said pointing to the bathroom picking up my clutch on the way.

I pulled out my phone taking a deep breath before sending a single text message.
I MISS YOU. I'LL BE HOME IN A WEEK.

I put my phone back in my bag and finished up in the bathroom before crawling back into bed.

“Told you I’d be back.” I said as I felt lips move over my neck and the tie of my robe slowly be pulled undone.